The Despairs of Death
by greekfreak101
Summary: He had loved him from the start. Why though? Watch through his eyes as the other boy makes him love him more and more.


**I don't own PJO. **

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I wasn't allowed to be who I was in the 1940's. It was illegal then, and I never told anyone. Not even my mother or my sister. I was too scared of rejection. I don't think I would've been able to handle the pain.

By the time I got out of the casino, I had forgotten about my previous life before it in the 1940's. Everything but my sister was blurry, and I couldn't remember anything. It started to come back in time, but it wasn't until I met him that I truly remembered who I was. He was perfect, but I knew he would never like me. Not with how he acted when she fell off the cliff. They were meant to be together.

The years went on and it broke my heart whenever I saw them together. I was envious. I wanted to be in her place, but nothing would ever break them apart. They would be together until death. Even then, they'd be together in Elysium.

Why did he have to find me in the Labyrinth? I ran away, not only because I was angry he didn't keep his promise, but because I couldn't deal with being so close to him when I never stood a chance. I pushed him away, but he still came after me. He still wanted to help me even after I'd been so cruel to him. I wanted to help him too. So I did. I offered him a plan to help him win the war.

He didn't want to do it, but when he knew he had to, he did. He trusted me enough to go with him to the Underworld, and I betrayed him. I gave him up to my father without meaning to. Even then, he forgave me. He gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve one. I loved him even more for that.

He was missing, but I knew where he would go when it was time. I knew he would appear at the Roman camp, but I wouldn't be able to tell anyone where he was. It was against the plan, and it pained me to pretend like that. It pained me to see her like that because I would have felt the same. When I appeared, he said I looked familiar. It _killed _me to pretend I didn't know him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to _kiss _him, but he wasn't mine to kiss.

He saved me from the giants. He should've been going to Rome, but he stopped to find me. He didn't want to leave me behind, and it may me love him so much more. Why did he have to do this to me? Why did he have to be so oblivious? He didn't know that I loved him more than anyone.

Why did he have to jump after her into Tartarus? I didn't want him to go through the hell I went through down there, so why? To save her. That was why. I promised to lead the others to the Doors of Death, because I was willing to do anything for him. I didn't know if I could lead them though. I didn't know if I could do it without him. _Do it for him, _I thought to myself. I was going to pull through without him. I was just going to have to meet him there. _You better make it through, _I thought to him as if he would hear it.

He made it through. I was so relieved that he made it through, but she was still there by his side. Like always. That would never be me. No matter how much I wished it.

I volunteered immediately to go with Reyna. I didn't want to be near him. I hated him for what he did to me. I hated how he had to go through hell, and I hated how he was with her. At least this way, I wouldn't have to see them together and feel the familiar pain in my heart. It would soon be too much to bear. How long would I be able to go on like this?

It was the final battle. The Greeks and the Romans had finally gotten over their differences. We were allies now, and we fought against Porphyrion and Gaea. Gaea was still asleep but she would wake soon if we did not beat the King of the Giants. Many demigods were mixed in the sea of hydras, dracanae, empousai, and many more monsters. In the flurry of monsters and demigods, I saw the Seven fighting Porphyrion. I was pleased to see him fight so well with the others as they gained the upper hand in their fight.

My attention was back on my own battles. I slashed and hacked at any monster that came near me. Undead warriors rose from the ground and fought at my command. I was tiring quickly though and I knew it was only a matter of time.

Everything happened at once. The Seven attacked Porphyrionas one and lightning stiked down and hit the King as the hit him with celestial bronze. The giant cried out as he fell to the ground. He was dead and the daughter of Aphrodite put all the power she could into her voice as she commanded Gaea to sleep again. The war was over.

But that didn't mean the monsters were gone. I didn't see it until a sword was sticking out of my stomach. I fell to the ground and rolled over. One of the dracanae had gotten me.

The Seven were jumping up and down triumphantly. It didn't seem like they noticed until he turned around and saw me. He let go of her and ran to me. He had panic written all over his face. He was so close to tears. The others followed behind him closely. They were shocked by the state I was in. He was on his knees beside me and lifting me up. I looked up at his sad face and tried to smile for him, but it was more of a grimace.

"Hey," I managed to croak out.

"Hey," he was holding back tears. I knew it from his voice.

"I'm sorry for everything," I gasped out in between breaths. "But I just want to say one thing. You are more than a brother to me. You mean more than anything to me. I love you so much Percy. I'm sorry."

The last thing I saw was his shocked look as a lone tear ran down his face. Everything went black and I welcomed death as he took me into his arms.

They took me to Hades' throne room. He looked at me with the proud look a father should have when he looked at his son. I knew then, that he had always been proud of me. He had always cared about me. All he said was eight words, but they meant the world to me.

_I'm proud of you Nico. Stay with me._

So I stayed with him, like I had done in my previous life. This one just didn't involve any trips to the living world. I didn't get to see him until he had died of old age. But he was here in the Underworld with me now looking just like he did when he was seventeen. She would be coming again soon, and they would be together again. But I no longer cared. I had accepted the fact of Percabeth being together forever, nothing would change that. But he knew of my feelings and I was happy for that reason.

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**I can't believe I just wrote that. Now I'm extremely depressed. But I feel like Nico's going to die in Blood of Olympus. Tell me in your review if you agree with me. **

**Please review.**

**~greekfreak101**


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